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In order to understand the dynamic of this couple, we need to answer a very important question.
What was it about this man that attracted a woman with traits of BPD in the first place?
Although the nice-guy/borderline union in theory should work, in reality it is guaranteed to fail. Either the nice-guy type will finally have a momentary lapse of selfishness, which she will experience as a major betrayal, or she will become so overwhelmed by her suspicious nature that that she will convince herself that he has betrayed her.
Either way, without an ironclad guarantee that she cannot be hurt, she will be unwilling to trust him again.
Passion and excitement may attract a future mate initially, but long-term relationships require self-discipline.
The nice-guy type gets very high marks in the area of relationship safety and security.
This ability holds a special attraction for women with traits of BPD. She has an overriding fear of relationship betrayal.
Most people imagine that this kind of fear centers around the more obvious forms of betrayal such as infidelity or relationship abandonment.
You will find an important clue in the name we commonly use to label men with this kind of personality.
The romantic partner of the woman with traits of BPD will soon find that although she demands complete adherence to the relationship rules from him, she is incapable of holding up her own end of the bargain.
Many nice-guy types are willing to accept these flaws.
What they tend to overlook is the fact that betrayal happens on a much more subtle level every day in all of our relationships.
Humans are naturally a little bit selfish, and we fade in and out of this slightly narcissistic mode as we go through life.